


I'll reach my hands out in the dark (And wait for yours to interlock)

by Fox (Spacefoxen)



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Cultural Differences, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Getting to Know Each Other, Sleepy Conversations, Sleepy Cuddles, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, and i just happened to have some amazing friends, barely, but like, i wrote this completely for myself, purring vulcans, self indulgent, stage, they're still in the, who cheered me on the entire way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 14:38:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18830692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spacefoxen/pseuds/Fox
Summary: Spock is not ashamed of who he is. There are simply parts of himself that are too strange, too alien, to share with Chris. Or so he's convinced himself.





	I'll reach my hands out in the dark (And wait for yours to interlock)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time dipping my toes into this fandom! I've been wanting to write Star Trek fanfiction for YEARS now and I've been so intimidated by the fandom's size and legacy and all the amazing fics out there that I....never did. But, thanks to some amazing friends on the Star Trek Discord cheering me on, I've finally started writing. 
> 
> It helps that Disco is a new sandbox to play in.
> 
> HUGE thanks to [Bones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faltering_Light) for the beta read, unending encouragement, and for bouncing ideas back and forth with me. Seriously, this fic wouldn't exist without our 3am Headcanoning sessions.
> 
> Additional thanks to [Trekkele](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trekkele) for the additional beta, the cheer reading, and the help with the Vulcan language bits. And the summary. Your help is greatly appreciated! 
> 
> See the end notes for a translation of the Vulcan words!

Sensing a trusted and beloved presence slip into bed next to him despite being deeply asleep,  Spock begins letting out a low rumbling vibration -- an automatic response to feeling both safe and extremely content. He shuffles in his sleep, turning towards that presence, his body thrumming with the strength of his purr.

The abrupt cessation of the other individual’s movements causes Spock to become more aware of his surroundings -- and his own purring. He freezes, immediately very awake, his cut-off purr emphasizing the silence in their quarters. 

Spock’s mind races as he stares out into the dark room, his hand clenching at the blankets.  _ Shit.  _  Is he being too Vulcan? The  _ vuhlk’uhr _ is a Vulcan behavior kept mostly secret from the rest of the Federation, as it is an action generally frowned upon outside of formally bonded pairs -- what is Chris going to think? Is the behavior too unfamiliar, too alien? His body stiffens; he’s too busy panicking to control his natural fight or flight response. 

After what could only have been a two second pause at most, Chris begins moving again, this time to shuffle closer. He presses close to Spock, one arm curling up around his chest, his palm on one of his shoulders while his head rests on the other. Spock swallows, confused, as Chris then buries his head against his neck and lets out a content sigh. From where their bare skin is in contact, Spock can pick up sleep-fuzzy feelings of happiness, surprise, and adoration.

Spock continues to lay still and works on relaxing his body, chastising himself for his brief panic. Perhaps Chris hadn’t noticed the purring, and his pause had simply been coincidental. 

He’s sure that Chris has fallen asleep--his partner’s body is lax and heavy against his own, a comforting weight that helps Spock calm his racing heart. Therefore, he’s surprised once again when Chris lifts up his head from his shoulder to look at him.

"Why’d you stop purring? 'S so nice? ...Nightmare, or...? You okay?" Chris is blinking tiredly at him, and Spock just stares back, uncomprehending at first. He’s slightly distracted by Chris’ hair flopping down over his forehead.

Spock pauses for a second. “You...like it?” 

Chris furrows his brow slightly as he frowns. Spock resists the impulse to smooth out the crease with a finger.

“...Yes?”

Spock blinks once. Parts his lips slightly to respond, but no words come to mind so he closes them again. His purring is  _ fine. _ Chris  _ likes  _ it. He isn’t sure what to do with this information.

Chris is still propped up on his elbow, his gaze is searching Spock’s own,  face twisted in puzzlement.

“Wait. You thought I’d have a problem with it?”

“I...was not sure of your reaction. It is not a behavior typically discussed outside of my species and, ah, bonded pairs. And, as it is not a  _ human _ behavior, I worried you might find it...distasteful.”

Chris smiles softly at him, his thumb moving in soothing circles against Spock’s shoulder. He settles in again, his head tucked just under Spock’s jaw.

“Relax, Spock. It’s somethin’ unique to you. I could  _ never _ find it distasteful. If anything, I find it soothing and, quite frankly, adorable.”

Spock swallows, unsure how to respond. “Chris, I--”

“Shhhhh,” Chris says before pressing a brief kiss to Spock’s neck. Spock shivers at the sensation.

They lay there for a moment before Chris continues rubbing Spock’s shoulder in soothing circles. Spock closes his eyes and sighs as Chris moves his hand from his shoulder to his head, his fingers carding through his hair and stroking over the point of his ear. Spock turns his face towards Chris’ hand, pressing into it. He allows himself to relax, to give into his natural response to feeling content and safe.

When he starts purring again, he feels Chris grin against his neck and shift closer. A corner of Spock’s mouth lifts slightly in response.

* * *

 

Spock comes to consciousness leisurely, his thoughts unusually slow and foggy. He’s warm and relaxed, and he can’t remember the last time he woke up from actual sleep feeling this content. 

Why had he even gone to sleep last night in the first place instead of engaging in his usual meditation? 

_ Right.  _ There had been an away mission gone awry, countless hours spent working with Doctor Boyce to synthesize an antitoxin for the away team, who had accidently come into contact with a possibly sentient plant… 

Then he remembers being woken up by Chris coming to bed and his own  _ purring.  _

_ Which he’s doing again. _

He stops the deep vibrations in his chest and becomes aware of the warm weight pressed against his side, the hand stopping its motion of running gently through his hair. He cracks an eye open.

Chris is laying half on top of him, one hand reaching up to caress Spock’s hair, his head and other arm both resting on Spock’s chest. He’s smiling softly, and Spock feels a warmth entirely unrelated to body heat blossom on his side.

“You stopped again,” Chris says, his voice soft. It isn’t an accusation, just a statement of fact.

Spock sighs lightly. “I am accustomed to preventing the reaction from starting in the first place. The fact that I have been caught unawares by my own... _ purring _ ...twice now is. Unsettling to me.” He breaks eye contact and absently brings a hand up to settle on Chris’ back. 

Chris runs his thumb over Spock’s ear as he lets out a soft chuckle. “Last night wasn’t the first time, you know.”

Spock looks back at Chris, one elegantly slanted eyebrow raised.

“The purring. I’ve heard you do it before, not just last night.” 

Spock’s hand stills, and despite his best efforts, an expression of surprise must have crossed his features because Chris continues.

“I think the first time was… Tiligrad VII?”

“Ah.” Of course. The healing trance. “The purring occasionally happens during the Vulcan healing trance, especially when the damage is extensive. We call it  _ kau-vuhr’ral.”  _  Spock pauses, considering. “Much like the purr of an Earth cat, a Vulcan’s  _ kau-vuhr’ral  _ has a frequency of between 25 and 150 Hertz depending on the nature of the injuries. This range of frequencies happens to be the best for healing muscles and bones.” 

Chris briefly clutches at the fabric of Spock’s shirt. “Yeah, well, it scared the shit out of me. And it sounded a lot different then the sound you make at night. They’re not the same kind of purr, right?”

Spock can feel the tips of his ears heat up. Talking about  _ kau-vuhr’ral  _ is one thing -- it is simply a part of the healing functions of his species.  _ Vuhlk’uhr,  _ however, is a response to  _ emotion _ . 

Spock tries willing the flush away from his ears -- and probably his cheeks -- but from Chris’ bemusedly curious expression and darting glances, he is failing miserably. He refrains from shifting around in discomfort.

“You are correct. Was the instance last night the first time hearing that particular vibration?”

“Hmm, what?” Chris mumbles distractedly, his focus still on the stubborn blush covering Spock’s ears. “Oh, no. It wasn’t.” He drags a finger over the tip of one pointy green ear, a smirk stretching across his face. “That was the morning after you came out of your healing trance but before you woke up properly.”

_ Oh. _ Well. That had been long before the Red Angel’s signals and the Discovery; they had still been on their five year mission. He had apparently been harboring feelings for his captain for a lot longer than he originally assumed. He wasn’t sure what to do with the knowledge.

“Something wrong?” Chris asks, his previous smile dropping to a concerned frown.

“No. I was simply pondering the implications of your statement.” He pauses for a moment, greatly appreciative of Chris’ ability to simply wait for him to speak up again rather than try to pry the words out of him faster. “That particular ‘purr’ is called  _ vuhlk’uhr. _ It is...a purely instinctual and emotional response -- a biological reminder of the time before The Awakening.”

“Ah.” Chris removes his hand from Spock’s ear and tucks it under his own chin. 

Spock wishes he’d put it back but says nothing and waits for Chris to finish his thought.

“So, just something you don’t talk about with non vulcans? Or is it something you’re ashamed of?”

Spock’s first reaction is to deny he feels ashamed of anything, but that is a lie and they both know it. Instead, he goes with the truth.

“Both. Perhaps the latter is due to the former, but both are true.” 

Chris hums and his smile is back; Spock is sure he’ll never stop feeling warm at the sight of it. Reaching his hand  up, Chris cards his fingers through his hair and Spock leans into the touch automatically.

“Do you think we could change that?”

Spock closes his eyes and concentrates on the sensation of Chris’ hand as it moves through his hair, of the warmth pressed between their bodies, and the glow of affection in his chest. As a small smile quirks the corner of his mouth up, he relaxes his control and lets himself purr once more.

“Perhaps.”

**Author's Note:**

> According to the Vulcan Language Dictionary, 'to purr' can be translated as _puhr-tor_. Using some language magic, Trekkele helped me come up with the following:
> 
>  _kau-vuhr'ral_ \-- a vulcan healing purr-sound  
>  _vuhlk'uhr_ \-- vulcan purr
> 
> Comments and Kudos are GREATLY appreciated! Please come find me on [Tumblr](http://captain-stelliferous.tumblr.com) and yell at me about Discovery and space.


End file.
